


Starting Short, Starting Small

by exolunaticshipper



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst (a little), BaekYeol - Freeform, ChanBaek - Freeform, ChanSoo - Freeform, Fluff, KaiSoo - Freeform, LMAO, M/M, Mpreg, Romance, SeHo - Freeform, Smut, XiuChen - Freeform, XiuHan - Freeform, break up make up, chansoo is a past thing, this fic is one of my favourite things I've written
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:21:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27740689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exolunaticshipper/pseuds/exolunaticshipper
Summary: Kyungsoo wants to be a doctor.Chanyeol wants to be a father.And Baekhyun?He's just starting small.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Oh Sehun, Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Park Chanyeol, Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Minseok | Xiumin, Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun, Kim Minseok | Xiumin/Lu Han
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	1. Starting Short, Starting Small

**Author's Note:**

> "I'm pregnant Chanyeol. I'm... I've got... you're thing inside of me" Kyungsoo sounded like a commotion of emotions and he can barely breathe.
> 
> Chanyeol's breath catches in his throat "Preg...nant?" his voice is not over a whisper and while his arms are trembling by his side, his brain notifies how spitefully Kyungsoo had said 'thing'. "You're not happy?"

  
_Chanyeol nearly misses the cannonball that is Kyungsoo as the smaller pummels his chest with smaller fists.  
  
"Park Chanyeol!" he roars and Chanyeol's sure that either the hallway is quiet or that Kyungsoo has actually managed to deafen him.  
  
He tries to not make his reply sound weak but it nearly comes out as a whimper "W-what?"  
  
"I'm pregnant Chanyeol. I'm... I've got... you're thing inside of me" Kyungsoo sounded like a commotion of emotions and he can barely breathe.  
  
Chanyeol's breath catches in his throat "Preg...nant?" his voice is not over a whisper and while his arms are trembling by his side, his brain notifies how spitefully Kyungsoo had said 'thing'. "You're not happy?"  
  
Kyungsoo sneers at that "Happy? My parents are going to kill me, Park. Your's might be happy go lucky but mine actually care about my future and none of it had a baby included!"  
  
Chanyeol steps back "My family care too" and Kyungsoo downright laughs at him, clutching at his stomach like there wasn't another human being in there.  
  
"Oh really, when you told them you were going to be a musician because it was your dream, did they care then? No, they said it was okay and they let you ruin your life. You're such a wreck it's actually funny sometimes."  
  
Most of the time, Chanyeol is patient, he can understand this is so much for Kyungsoo to handle, that at 19 he's about to become a father. But his words go further than that, more into their relationship.  
It's only then Chanyeol zones back in on what the other was saying;  
  
"It was supposed to be a joke, us dating. I'm clever, you're stupid, it just... it just doesn't ever work like that" Kyungsoo breathes in deeply "I'm supposed to become a doctor, that's what my parents want and then you- you ruined everything! My life was perfect without you"  
  
It was then that Kyungsoo noticed how silent Chanyeol had become with his head bowed "We're over then?" he asks quietly and Kyungsoo just rolls his eyes, uncaring at the silent tears that slip down the taller's face.  
  
"We were over before we began Chanyeol. We were never together. And once this is out of me, we will have never existed" Kyungsoo's about to spin on his heel but Chanyeol grips a hold of his wrist;  
  
"What do you mean 'out of you'?" He's panicking because it's his child too and he wants it so bad, always had. "Dont get an abortion Soo... I'll look after it, you won’t even have to see it's face I swear, I'll look after it!"  
Chanyeol's begging and he doesn't care. He doesn't care that half of the school's population knows his relationship has been a joke, knows that he's a father and knows right now he's pleading for his own dear child.  
  
Kyungsoo looks disgustedly at his stomach and then at the boy in front of him, on his knees and even his heart twinges at the pathetic boy.  
"Chanyeol... I cheated on you... with Jongin... I wanted to... I wanted to kill-"  
  
And then Chanyeol was standing up looking horrified "You cheated on me, while **our** baby was in your stomach?"  
  
Kyungsoo looks taken aback when it's said like that and his brows crease, ready to apologize but Chanyeol isn't done;  
  
"Fuck you Kyungsoo. Fuck you and your theories and your plans. Fuck everything. I really wanted to see the better you, pretend like what we had was something, that the way you avoided me was just because of how you were. But you ... you bitch-" Chanyeol likes to think he could phrase it better but his mind is a whirlwind and he hates Kyungsoo so much "You stupid bitch, a damn whore. I gave everything to you and you... and you... just. With Jongin! My best-friend. You whored around with my best friend!"  
  
Jongin tries to calm him down but is shoved back "Stay the fuck away, I still have words to say to your whore!"  
  
Kyungsoo is crying but Chanyeol doesn't care, maybe he once did, but not anymore.  
  
"You're not fit to be a doctor, a nurse and you're definitely not fit to be a father. And when you're done with you're term, I'm coming for **my** child" Chanyeol hissed "Because my family really care"_  
  
______________________________________________  
  
Chanyeol remembers that day in high school like it was yesterday, fresh in his mind and painted on the back of his eyelids. He also remembers how neither had exchanged a word when Kyungsoo gave birth, Chanyeol had helped as much as he could without being in too much contact with the man that broke his heart for his best-friend.  
  
He spoke to Jongin a little. He couldn't hate the younger who had done everything with him when they were smaller.  
  
He gazed at the small cot on the other side of the room and at the muted television. His parents had been more than supportive in their words, but their actions had been limited in the end, wanting nothing to do with Chanyeol's broken relationship and wanting to keep good ties with the Do's and their wealth. Chanyeol couldn't really blame them.  
  
Being a single father with a part-time job was hard. Possibly the hardest thing Chanyeol had to face in his 20 years of young life. But he wouldn't trade it for any amount of money, or partying. He really loved his son, Park Jaesung.  
  
As if on cue, the baby began to sob in it's cot, stubby fingers reaching up in desperation and Chanyeol smiled softly when big eyes blinked open to gaze around.  
  
"Jaesung-ah, don't be scared, Dad's here" he cooed and the baby soothed while listening to his voice, gurgling softly, gummy smile flashing every few minutes.  
  
Chanyeol picked the tiny being up "Sweet heart, daddy's going to feed you." He picked up the bowl of porridge on the table and placed the smaller in his high-chair, making airplane noises as the smaller squealed in delight, clapping his pudgy hands gleefully. When the smaller chewed on his food, Chanyeol took the opportunity (as he did everyday) to stare at the mixture of him and Kyungsoo he could see in the child- the wide eyes, the little heart shaped bow lips- Chanyeol's nose. But that didn't stop him loving him with all his heart.  
  
"Daddy's going to work today" Chanyeol said softly and as if the smaller understood his words he leaned in and slobbered on his dad's cheek making Chanyeol chuckle. "I love you honey and a nanny will be over to look after you"  
  
He'd called a nanny and that meant he was expecting a woman. By no means was he expecting a cute, twenty something in a graphic tee and dark, tight jeans.  
  
"Uh... hi?" he said, cutely waving and Chanyeol flushed because he had been sure not to ever like anyone after he gave his heart to Kyungsoo.  
Dammit! What was it about cute, small men?  
  
Chanyeol gulped "Hi. I'm Mister Park Chanyeol" he held out his hand because he was stupid and his brain wasn’t functioning from all that _cuteness_ "You are?"  
  
"Baekhyun, you spoke to my manager on the phone?" Baekhyun looked about as nervous as the taller felt. “Im here to babysit?” he peeks gently at the crawling baby behind the tall man and Chanyeol follow’s his gaze with a fond smile.

  
“Ah right! Yeah, I called you” He cleared his throat before realising the implications of his words “Not specifically you- your company obviously- ‘cause otherwise that would be super wierd...” Laughing nervously he pouted a little and Baekhyun couldn’t help but stare because how could someone be so adorable when they sound like they swallowed an entire bass drum and looked like they belonged in a forest.

  
He laughs along because seriously, Baekhyun needs this job _real_ bad- his rent is really not getting any cheaper. Start small they said when he failed his exams, not that they were proud, but his parents were firm believers that you couldn’t change the past and you just had to move forward. They were, as usual, right.

  
“I’ll pay you when I get back, food is in the fridge and the baby food is in the second cupboard on the right” Chanyeol’s sentence becomes muffled as he stuffs buttered toast into his mouth and ties his shoelaces simultaneously while trying shrug on his jacket in what Baekhyun has to admit is an impressive feat.

  
He reaches down and pecks Jaesung’s chubby cheeks and hands him over to Baekhyun and accidentally kisses Baekhyun’s cheek too, before diving out of the house out of sheer embarrassment because he was pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to do that.

  
_Fuck._

  
And he had to face Baekhyun when he got back home, but he figured he had an angry boss to worry about first.  
  
_________________________________________________  
  
Baekhyun stood frozen.

Did the tall, ridiculously hot man just kiss his cheek because... he was flushed from head to toe and the baby was looking at him as if _he_ was the alien.

  
He assumed it was his adorable face and short height that got to people when he looked after their children, that and he was amazingly good with children, even the worst. In short, he had a small place hidden in his heart for children probably because of his own baby brother (yeah right, he’s 14 now).

  
Baekhyun proceeds to look after the child, who is unnaturally well behaved in front of a stranger, trying to stand every now and then, he doesn’t even notice how time flies by or how the baby- Jaesung- clings to him cutely, reaching up to peck his cheek every so often affectionately before getting tired and curling in the elder’s lap, tiny fists clinging to woolly jacket.

  
He nearly jumps into the air when he hears the front door opening and he places the baby back in his cot.

  
“Baekhyun?” he hears the voice call from downstairs and he hurries downstairs;

  
“Oh hi, Mr Park” he blushes remembering their moment earlier and Chanyeol avoids his eyes;

  
“I-I’m... sorry about this morning.” He swallows audibly “I was... thinking about something else... and you are incredibly cute... I was distracted”

  
“It’s okay” And they both stood there, twenty and looking incredibly awkward. “Im going to-“

  
“Yeah... that’s a good-“

  
“Okay then-“

  
“Baekhyun” Chanyeol suddenly stops him, eyes full of genuine thanks “Thankyou for looking after Jaesung, it was short notice and... I really, I know you only do part time but thankyou”

  
Baekhyun felt his heart swell with pride “It’s okay... actually...” he thought quickly, he liked Chanyeol so far, it couldn’t hurt to help him a little “Here’s my number, if you ever need anyone on short notice... or something”

  
Chanyeol smiled “Thank you, really" He takes the number down on a pad, scribbling Baekhyun’s name alongside it.

  
And he guesses he always starts short.  
  
\--  
  
It’s a year on, and Chanyeol has made sure to make Baekhyun his personal baby sitter, because it not only means that Jaesung gets used to one face only but he also gets to Baekhyun more often.

  
He doesn’t know why but he thinks Baekhyun is stunning. Okay that’s a lie, the boy is more beautiful than anything Chanyeol has ever had the hopes of setting eyes on, with those little droopy eyes, slender, femine fingers, fluffy blond hair and that petite face- was there anything not love (Chanyeol purposefully chooses not to think about those curvacious hips and ass and those sumptious thighs unless he wants to face a cold shower)

  
It’s Valentine’s day and Chanyeol’s not usually cliché – he had never been with Kyungsoo, but he makes an effort this year because he likes Baekhyun- _a lot_.

  
He still starts small. Just roses.

  
Walking in the front door, he’s greeted with the sight of Baekhyun cooing at baby Jaesung in his arms, rocking the baby while the smaller just laughs. He cant help but stare at Baekhyun’s face, lit up by his smile, eyes curved into cresents and disappearing under thick lashes, flushed against rose coloured cheeks.

  
He clears his throat and Baekhyun blushes looking up “O-Oh hey Chanyeol!”

  
Chanyeol doesn’t move from the doorway looking a little more than anxious, clutching the roses like a shield in front of him “Right. Hi.” He takes a deep breath before starting “Hi, again. I was wondering, if you would like to go out tonight? For dinner. Romantically” Okay, _okay_ , Chanyeol had never really been good with words.  
He finally glances up at the shocked face and his heart sinks because what the hell was he thinking, Baekhyun wasn’t looking for this kind of thing, how stupid could he b-

  
“Yes! _Yes_! How long did it take you to ask Park? _Goddammit_!” The shorter boy shrieked, placing Jaesung down safely before throwing himself into the taller’s arms. “Jesus, Park Chanyeol does my form of flirting not work on you? Was the number like a year ago not a big hint?”

  
He toyed gently with the giant’s (conveniently giant) ears, before biting his lip “Do I have to hint to kiss too?” 

  
Chanyeol grinned, biting his lower lip “I don’t know do you?” he chuckled when Baekhyun pouted and leaned down, sliding their lips together as if they belonged, licking and sucking his way into the other’s mouth, all the while allowing his hands to wander under white flowing shirt.

  
“You’re so lovely” Chanyeol whispered, cupping the smaller’s face as Baekhyun smiled up at him “I think I’m in lo-“

  
Jaesung began to cry and the moment was lost.

  
“My mum agreed to look after Jaesung for one night but only if she got to meet you soon” Chanyeol rolled his eyes at his childish mum’s ideas.

“But that means we get an entire night to our selves” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, unable to keep the smile off his face.

  
“We’ll see” Baekhyun called out, grin near splitting his face.

  
They spent the night in each other’s embrace, crying out the other’s name as they neared the point of unthinkable ecstasy.  
  
_____________________________________________  
  
Needless to say, it was another month when Baekhyun finally moved in. Well, when Baekhyun officially moved in.

  
There were of course the nights which he stayed over at Chanyeol’s house or the nights when he was forced to (he really doesn’t mind) look after Jaesung when Chanyeol was working hard, but it always meant that he left things behind- a coat here, a cup there, cutlery, a change of clothes. Chanyeol never even seemed to notice, he was already that comfortable with Baekhyun.

  
So yeah, when Chanyeol asked the question, Baekhyun simply laughed and said he was already half way there.  
It was then more than ever, Chanyeol understood why he was in love with Baekhyun.

  
But it all came crashing down less than a few months later. Six months into their steady relationship.

  
“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun called out as the taller toed his shoes off at the door “I got the internship!” Chanyeol kissed his boyfriend fully before the other managed to finish his sentence;  
“In Japan, isn’t that great?”

  
It wasn’t as if Baekhyun missed the way Chanyeol’s face fell or the way he shakily bit his lip, but he purposely chose to ignore it, because his resolve would crumble and he had dreamed of this opportunity his entire life.

  
“That’s great Baekhyun!” Chanyeol finally managed and again, Baekhyun pretended as if he didn’t hear the taller’s voice crack or the way shaky arms embraced him “I’m proud of you, well done” The words sounded hollow as if Chanyeol was far away already.

  
“I think... it’s going to be for a while... that’s why...” Baekhyun took a deep breath because this was killing him internally “We should split apart, take a break” 

_Break up._

  
He misses the way Chanyeol’s breathing hitches or the way tears fill in almond eyes because he’s turning on his heel and leaving, unable to look back. He doesn’t care he tells himself. He won’t miss Jaesung and his tiny fingers. He won’t miss the house and the warm bed.

And most of all he won’t miss his giant.

  
He swears by it.

__________________________________________


	2. After The Tone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alcohol always leads to bad decisions...

6 months ago, Chanyeol could have sworn his life was perfect. He'd had a gorgeous boy in his arms, who had loved more than anyone else- Baekhyun, his baby boy cuddled to his chest and he was slowly climbing the ladder in his job.

It had been beyond anything he would have imagined in high school. 

Now, he was alone. He cradled the beer bottle in his hand and looked across the table to his colleague, the closest thing he had to a friend at the moment, Jongdae.

"Hey man, maybe you should ease up on the beer?" Jongdae patted his arm sympathetically "It's still early in the night"

Chanyeol only nods somberly, he's not nearly as drunk as he wishes he was. But he can't forget those beautiful features, the droopy puppy eyes, the brown hair, the lithe waist he'd held as they kissed for the first time. He couldn't forget the retreating back or the last time Baekhyun had come around, to pick up all his things- not even sparing him a glance.

"I just want to find someone and get laid, man" Chanyeol chokes out "It's been a heavy few months, a man's got needs"

Jongdae laughs, but it sounds pitiful "We'll find you someone, a good looking guy like you is bound to sweep some lucky girl or guy off their feet"

Chanyeol's about to wave the bartender over to order some shots (the beer was not nearly enough) when someone catches his eye;

"Jongin?" He slurs, eyes widening as the tan boy turns around to face him, neck suddenly flushing in embarrassment.

"Oh hey, Chanyeol- I didn't know you still came here" It was more of an awkward statement. Him and Jongin had never fully discussed what had happened back in highschool, but had never fully become friends again.

"What? I can't come and enjoy my college hangouts?" Chanyeol quipped back, but there wasn't any anger in his voice, only resignation. Jongin only smiled tightly and moved to walk away;

"Hey!" Chanyeol butted in, glancing up so suddenly his vision swam "How are you and ... y'know Kyungsoo? Did you guys stick together?"

Jongin's eyes turn sad, dejected almost "We're not together anymore if that's what you mean. We... broke up a year ago. He was real upset about something he saw." He mutters quietly "Something to do with _you_ "

Chanyeol can't help the flutter in his chest. Kyungsoo, _aloof, wants-to-be-a-doctor Kyungsoo_ broke up with someone because of _him_? Park Chanyeol who would never amount to anything?

"Oh." He can only manage the small word and Jongdae clears his throat to remind the taller of his existence; "Oh right, um, do you want to join us? I'm having a pity party for two but I could surely do with more people?"

Jongin looks blank for a second and then relieved "Yes! Uh, yes- just give me a second; I'm just going to get my drinks"

It's strange how quickly they settle back into their old routine, easily fitting Jongdae into their conversations, reminiscing about high-school and gossiping about what happened to the people they used to go there with.

They both avoided the topic of Kyungsoo entirely.

"You should have seen Leetuk's face on graduation man, he was shaking!" Jongin laughed loudly, smacking the table with his palm, his body lax from the alcohol "He never would have thought that his parent's would have brought a whole ass banner into the auditorium"

Chanyeol snorted "I'm gutted I didn't catch it- it was Eunhyuk's idea aswell, dude- I swear they didn't speak for like 2 months after that. He was fucking fuming!"

Jongdae laughed along, despite not knowing a single person they mentioned and made little quips of his own. He then quietly excused himself to the toilet "I'll be back in a minute" he smiled.

Without the comfortable barrier of Jongdae's presence, the table got quiet, Jongin's eyes flicking between Chanyeol's face against the dim lights of the bar and the table;

"Yeol..." He started, fingers fiddling with a rogue coaster aimlessly "I never really apologised for what happened. I know it won't ever fix things, I don't expect it to... but I was so dumb. I just... I thought I knew what I wanted, and honestly it was at the time, but I never meant for it to happen like that." He paused, licking his lip lightly "To hurt you like I did."

Chanyeol makes a pained sound in his throat, halfway between a laugh and a cry " _I know that_."

He looks away, lost for a second "I know that Jongin, I just... Kyungsoo was my everything at that time. He... I don't know. I just knew I saw a future with him. Me, him, _our child_. When that happened, I just.. I lost it." He breathes quietly and Jongin allows him the moment, basking in the silence but waiting cautiously for the taller to continue "But I'm past it now, i think? - what you did at least, I can try to accept it as a error of judgement. We were both so stupid. And honestly, I... I'd rather not go on burning bridges."

Jongin nods, letting the words since in " Then, let's have drink- to forgetting old shitty memories and possibly building new ones" His voice is hopeful, he wants his best friend from his childhood back, he's missed him.

He hope it comes across.

Chanyeol gives him a small smile, hurt mildly flickering somewhere in his eyes "Possibly"

They both knock back a shot just as Jongdae comes back to the table, a tiny smile on his face;

"You guys are drinking without me?" He whines "That's just rude!"

It's likely that neither of them will really remember the conversation they had at the bar, but it was a start to mending their broken friendship.

"Hey Nini" Chanyeol calls him by his pet name and Jongin fights the way his heart leaps into his throat because fuck, he remembers the childish names they called each other "I think that guy over there has had his eye on you the whole night? Why don't you take him for a spin- get his number?" There's a tease in his voice, and it drops to a whisper "Maybe help you forget about... you-know-who?"

Jongin throws his head back in a laugh "I'll go one better _Yoda_ \- I'm going to get laid" He hops up from his seat and saunters his way onto the dance floor, instantly making his way over to the guy, wrapping his arms around his waist and watching as the fair-skinned male breaks into an adorable smile and blush. Jongin did always have everyone falling at his feet.

Jongdae grins to himself "Ah, what a guy- I wish I had those moves" He looks back at Chanyeol who is swilling the drink around in his cup "So... you and Jongin?"

"Just friends." Chanyeol clarifies and then sighs "Well, we used to be best friends. He cheated on me with the father of my child back in high-school. We... haven't really got along much since."

The smaller boy smiles, his eyes suddenly wiser than his youthful face as they soften on the taller's slumped form "Then, you did really well Yeol, there's no point living with regrets"

It's a little after one AM when Chanyeol stumbles over the threshold of his apartment. Jaesung is with his mother at the moment so at least he doesn't have to worry about waking up his son. 

Lately, Jaesung had spent more and more time with a variety of relatives, Chanyeol being unable to manage looking after him, alongside working his job and feeling his life spiral down and out of control.

_It was too much._

He slumped on his bed in a daze and picked up his phone. He couldn't get one person out of his mind, the one he really wanted to speak to at this moment. He'd regret it in the morning- if he remembered doing it... but that was for future Chanyeol to worry about.

Fumbling with the lock screen, he pulled up his list of contacts, fingers scrolling through the list. He was still in there, like a clinging memory.

Fuck, He hoped he hasn't changed his number.

Hovering over the digits he tapped once and held the phone to his ear, his eyes getting heavier- heavier with sleep and alcohol mixing into the comfort of his bed;

_'The person you have called cannot answer the phone right now, please leave a message after the tone, once you have finished recording please hang up or press the hash key for more options'_

**'Beep.'**

Chanyeol sucked in a deep breath. Fuck, _why_ was he nervous for this?

His heart was thundering, palms sweating and brain swirling. He couldn't believe he was doing this. It had been so long, but the night had only opened up wounds that had not fully healed yet. He pushed it all to one side, he might aswell do it now that he had dialled.

One more lungful of hair and Chanyeol spoke, his voice raspy and throat parched;

"Hey it's Yeol, can you give me a call back when you get the chance."

He licked his suddenly dry lips, the words he wanted to say floating around in his mind before he finally forced them out;

" _I really miss you, Kyungsoo._ "


	3. Go Wild

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun thinks it's for the best, but it doesn't really feel that way.

Baekhyun lay on his back as the guy above him thrust into him repeatedly, eyes closed in mock pleasure;

" _Fuck_ you are... insanely tight" He grunted, blond hair flopping over his eyes " _Shit, Baekhyun_ " He kept groaning and pounding aimlessly.

It was the third time this week that they'd fucked, Baekhyun just needed the release, his internship had really been taking its toll and it wasn't really like he had anyone to talk to about it.

Japan was... somewhat a home to him now. A home very _very_ far away from his actual home.

He wrapped a hand around his cock and pumped vigorously, just wanting the sloppy sex to be over before the guy could actually tell he wasn't really into it.

Coming with a sigh himself and an equally choked cry from the guy above him, they both lay side by side, breathing heavily into the quiet dorm room;

Baekhyun broke the silence first "Could you... _y'know_..." He gestures floppily to the door- wanting the man to leave, too mentally drained to actually form accurate words.

The guy sighed and ruffled his hair, clearly frustrated "I don't get you, Baekhyun- You hang around me, you flirt with me, we fuck and then you dump me. I'm... I'm willing to put it down to the fact that your internship is taking a huge shit on your life right now but... Jesus, you _can't_ just keep doing that"

Sitting up, clearly unbothered Baekhyun just blankly stared "Sehun, I don't owe you anything, you don't owe me anything. I didn't ask or beg you to come sleep with me. You initiated and I went along because I have needs too. But fuck, we're just having sex- it really isnt that deep"

Sehun just stares "You're a fucking asshole" He's tugging on his jeans angrily "You want me to leave? Fine, Baekhyun- I'm going to go, but don't think I'll come crawling back because _fuck that_ "

"You really should watch your language, Sehun" Baekhyun chides, mockingly, reaching for the tissues on the table and cleaning himself "Also, rule number one, don't expect anything and then you won't be let down". He calls out with a laugh.

The door slamming shut is the only response he recieves.

He's not worried though, because Sehun will be back, just like all the other times he'd given the same spiel. He'd comeback and say that he didn't mean it, that he's okay with what they have and that he'd rather just be friends who fuck and flirt, than anything more- if that's what Baekhyun wanted.

It's not what he wants. He doesn't want any of this. 

He wants his giant. His cuddly six foot oaf of an ex who would lumber round and give sloppy morning kisses, who would be eating his toast at the same time as tying his shoes and cooing over Jaesung. The same ex who had the body of god and the dick worthy of it's own throne. 

_God fuck_ , he missed getting plowed like there was no tomorrow. But it had been his decision to leave, and Chanyeol had probably moved on.

He should too.

But just because he was moving on in words, didn't mean his body reacted the same way. Every thought of his ex- the way his fingers curved up his spine when he pulled the shorter into his lap, the way he pressed kisses on his neck and collar bones- the way he teased every ounce of Baekhyun with his fingers and his tongue, leaving him to come undone on that alone was ingrained in his brain, on his body for life. It was imprinted onto his very flesh and no matter what or who Baekhyun slept with, nothing compared to Park Chanyeol.

Now, frustrated himself and incredibly horny, Baekhyun slumped back. He should have called Chanyeol when he got to Tokyo, told him he was sorry. Tried to hold some kind of relationship- friendship at the very least. Instead he had just wallowed, told himself that this is what he had wanted and that it was for the best.

That logic no longer worked.

He decided that if sleep wasn't going to take him, and that thinking didn't help, his only option was to leave his god-forsaken room.

Agitated and finally having enough of his now filled cock, standing to attention against his stomach, Baekhyun wrenched on his boxers and black skinny jeans, opting for a loose sparkly top that flowed over his otherwise obviously straining dick.

If he'd told Sehun and Chanyeol to fuck off, the only thing left to do was get blind drunk with his housemate, Minseok (thankfully another Korean intern who was working for a different company). Minseok was always down to drink, almost so much that when Baekhyun sauntered out into the main living space, he didn't even turn around. He simply lifted up his hand holding a can;

"Beer?" And then he lifted his other hand "Or Vodka?"

Baekhyun laughs gratefully as he takes a seat because Minseok isnt the kind of guy to pry and ask questions, he just knows how to make him forget "Is it bad if I say both?" 

Minseok smiles so wide his cheeks puff up and he giggles "Not at all, my little puppy friend, not at all"

When they finally hit the club that's only a 10 minute walk from their shared dorm, Baekhyun regrets it. He sees Sehun inside, grinding on bodies and looking deliriously drunk, toppling and bumping into men and women alike as he made his way over to the bar, shouting his drink order so loud and expressively that Baekhyun could make out he'd just ordered;

"4 Jaegerbombs"

He snaps his neck to look at Minseok who's also watching the tall blond in fascination "He doesn't look like he could handle a glass of water or a gust of wind, but god, he is trying"

Baekhyun only shakes his head, worry biting at him because Sehun is only a year younger than him but he wears his heart on his sleeve. And the only reason he's currently drinking like a madman is because of Baekhyun himself. "I feel bad" He mumbles but Minseok catches it with a small smile and pats his back;

"Don't." He offers, ever the man of few words.

It doesn't help calm the nerves Baekhyun's feeling, he doesn't like seeing Sehun cry into someone elses shoulder or dance with someone else. It's not like he likes him like that but Baekhyun should be the one he comes to.

 _Until you kick him out again._ The voice niggles in his mind; _like you always do._

He sighs and gratefully knocks back his own shots that Minseok had carefully placed down, the cool liquid somehow managing to scald his throat "What the fuck is that?"

"Absinthe" Minseok grins "You really will forget everything, so you can do whatever the fuck you like- tonight, my friend, is your ' _go wild_ ' night"

Baekhyun's eyes widen.

_Fuck it. Go wild it is._

________________________________________________________

Puking in every alleyway like it was a pit stop was not meant to be such a prominent part of his 'go wild' night and having Sehun, who had surprisingly sobered up pat his back and rub his arm comfortingly also wasnt.

But he didn't push the younger away when he wrapped his arm around his tiny shoulders, didn't stop when the taller leaned down and kissed his head and didn't stop when Sehun tentatively walked him back to his room;

"I... hope you feel better, tomorrow" He winces when Baekhyun dry heaves " _Or not_?"

It's enough to make Baekhyun smile slightly through the drunken haze "Are you going home now? It's so late?"

He doesn't know whether he's saying this out of guilt or because it's genuine, but his feelings are battered and he just doesn't want to be alone for one night when he's drunk in a faraway country, dreaming restlessly about his ex.

"Well... I mean I doubt you'd let me stay and I don't really fancy sleeping on the couch that has Minseok's ass imprinted onto it" He nearly jumps out of his skin when Minseok pops up at the kitchen doorway;

"That's Minseok- _hyung_ to you, brat" He grumbles before stumbling into his room, clearly still a dizzying level of drunk. Sehun only smiles slightly, wistfully, patting Baekhyun's head once before turning away towards the front door.

"Stay. _Please_ " Baekhyun's voice is so small that Sehun almost misses it, if the elder hadn't also grabbed onto his wrist "I... _need_ you to stay"

He could never say no to the eyes he fell in love with, and that adorable little pout so Sehun nods his head and cleans Baekhyun up. He wipes his mouth and kisses his head and spoons him to sleep.

He's nearly asleep himself, so blissful to be cuddling like he's always wanted when he hears the faintest little puppy yelps and Baekhyun's soft whisper;

" _Thankyou, Chanyeollie_ "

His heart shatters all over again, but his selfish mind clings onto Baekhyun's body- revelling in at least having this one moment with him, despite the fact he thought it was someone else.

_________________________________________

Baekhyun wakes up feeling like he's been run over, Sehun's already left his side of the bed made and small note left on his bedside table that Baekhyun doesn't bother with, choosing instead to chug his glass of water.

He fumbles with his phone; 2 voicemails call- One from his work colleage Botan who he was sharing an interior design project with and the other from an unknown number.

He clicks on the first one, his friend's stringy voice comes out "Hey Baekhyun, just wanted to let you know I have some new drafts for those designs, give me a call when you get a chance just to discuss it"

He flicks off the voicemail onto the next one and doesn't recognise the voice;

"Hey Baekhyun, sorry to call randomly like this. I'm going to be in town for an EXPO of sorts- I thought maybe we could meet up for a catch up, I heard you were in Tokyo too from a friend of ours. It's Jongdae by the way"

Baekhyun sighs, of course Jongdae works for a global tech giant, most of their products are marketed or created in Tokyo. They had been friends in highschool, the biggest pair of clowns the world could find, bonded purely over their hatred of bulky gym boys and their thin _thin_ shorts.

He texts back;

**From: ByunBaek**

_Of course JD, would love to catch up. What dates will you be in Tokyo- maybe I could be the guide ? >.<_

**From: Kim Jongdaee**

_Ah! Of course, a couple of my colleagues will be there too, so nothing too rowdy like our old highschool nights! I'll be there from 22nd to 29th!_

**From: ByunBaek**

_Great! I'll get those days booked off, maybe hang out at your EXPO too and see where that smart brain has got you to!_

**From: Kim Jongdaee**

_Sounds good! I'll get it all sorted. Thanks man, sorry for just popping up!_

Baekhyun only smiles at the last text and feels giddy, he finally gets to see a part of the life he left behind- his little snippet of Korea, even if it is only his highschool friend. And honestly, he cant wait. It's only two weeks away.

He bumps into Minseok as he leaves his room, finally ready for work, who apparently looks just as happy as Baekhyun feels;

"What are you up to on the 22nd ish?" Baekhyun asks before the other can get a word in and the older looks puzzled for a moment;

"Um nothing too important why?"

"I'm meeting up with some friends, and youre my best friend here, maybe we could go together?"

"Of course" Minseok smiles, he would probably agree to anything with the morning he's just had, which Baekhyun picks up instantly;

"Why are you grinning so much? Have you finally cracked?" He laughs, patting the other's back

"If by cracked you mean finally, finally got a date with Xi Luhan, then hell yes" Minseok fist pumps the air "I'm finally free of the curse of Kim Jongdae!!"

Baekhyun balks and freezes.

_It couldn't be._

He shakes his head, its a common Korean name, like Korean equivalent of Bob Smith. No need to worry about it.

Well, not yet at least.


	4. Rekindled Spirits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tough talks lead to stronger spirits...

Chanyeol wants to bang his head against the wall, what was he thinking contacting Kyungsoo again? What was he thinking telling him he missed him?

He didn't really did he?

No, the person he really missed was in another country, living his best life and experiencing another culture. All without him.

Chanyeol shook his head, he had a job to do. Leaning back in his chair he ran over the lyrics that him and Jongdae were meant to be composing together for the next high flying artist. Yet, he could simply find nothing to fit the hip-hop beat and thick background bass. If he couldnt meet his deadline for the project, he could kiss the following Music EXPO and his job goodbye.

Jongdae had gone AWOL in an attempt to sort out their bookings and flights for the EXPO- him, Jongdae and Junmyeon, Jongdae's friend from highschool and his other, slightly smarter and more put together colleague. Jongdae had explained that he'd found a guide out in Japan already, someone who would help them around the place and had a decent grasp of the language so at least they weren't being tossed to a whole other world.

Although Chanyeol wasnt worried. He was smart, always had been- with a certain knack for musical instruments since he had been in school, boasting the ability to sing and rap, play the drums, guitar- bass, acoustic and electric and with a keen ear for the piano. Now, his job was his final step- producing. Except, with the recent circumstances and his inability to produce the amazing lyrics and compositions he once had been, his promotion and his options to own his own studio at some point, were dwindling.

Chanyeol sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. This was not how he had expected his Friday evening to go, he had promised his baby boy that he'd be home, yet once again- Chanyeol was stuck late in the office and Jaesung was probably tucked into bed at his Mum's house- reluctantly.

A knock sounded at his small office door and Chanyeol grunted out a "come in" as he kept his head buried in his papers and notations, rifling through them to find the perfect fit (although, as he had done several times previously, nothing seemed to work). He had expected Jongdae to come waltzing in as he usually did, being the only other person to stay behind this late.

Instead there was a soft cough, almost bashful, that had Chanyeol's head shooting up.

"Oh my god..." He trailed off eyes wide, suddenly standing "K-Kyungsoo?"

Kyungsoo looked down at the ground, toeing his shoe into the carpet "I got your message..."

Chanyeol could barely take his eyes of his petite ex. He looked good, eyes wide, face plush, and hair swept back away from his face. He was dressed down in a lose tee and jeans which complimented his shapely figure. The father of his child.

"Uh..." Chanyeol stared before gathering himself with a deep breath "How did you know I was here?"

"I..." Kyungsoo looked a little embarrassed "I went to your parent's house- she told me you were working late."

Chanyeol could have claimed compensation for how quickly he snapped his neck up from tidying his desk in a bid to look busy. Kyungsoo, D.O Kyungsoo who swore to never look at a Park again, had went to see his mother. Today was full of surprises he didn't expect.

"Ah" Was all Chanyeol managed "I... I'm not going to lie, I can't believe you actually came to see me"

"I..." Kyungsoo shook his head "Let's head somewhere, we have a lot to talk about and honestly, I dont feel like doing it in this tiny office"

Chanyeol nodded stiffly and followed after the smaller boy, a hint of relief in his chest. This felt strangely good? He couldn't believe he wasnt more angry right now. 

When they eventually found a quiet bar, Kyungsoo cradled his drink;

"So, that night, did you really miss me?" Kyungsoo began, not looking up from where his fingers were tracing patterns onto the table. Chanyeol shook his head;

"I... I don't know. I was drunk and tired." _And heartbroken._ But he didn't add that. "And I... I bumped into Jongin when I was out"

The sharp intake of breath told Chanyeol that the particular wound he was prodding at still stung.

"I still love him." Kyungsoo declared suddenly, looking up at Chanyeol "I... I just wasnt sure how much. I... I heard you were with someone new, you know how gossip passes around this place. I heard that you were smiling and so happy. And it made me angry, Chanyeol. I don't know why, and it made my heart break and I forgot how much you meant to me. And I remembered all the horrible things I said and did- I've missed out on my child because my family were so suffocating. And now I have nothing left. I had to break up with him before I took him down with me too. I'm not a nice person and Jongin, despite his mistakes really is."

Chanyeol didn't disagree. He couldn't with the memories he had "So you broke up with Jongin because you were worried you would repeat your mistakes?"

Kyungsoo nodded meekly "And... I was worried with how jealous I was that you had found someone new."

Chanyeol sighed "I... I've always wanted to know. Did you mean what you said? I mean we never spoke about it. We never even looked back at each other."

"That you meant nothing? That I was ashamed of you?" Kyungsoo lolled his head back "Honestly, no. I was jealous that you could take your own path- in school you were my breath of fresh air, y'know? You with your love for music and arts and charisma. And I didn't mean for what happened with Jongin to be so spiteful. It all happened so quickly, but the spark- the real attraction beyond high school love and sex- I felt with him. A real bond, like he was my everything." Kyungsoo drew in a shaky breath and Chanyeol belatedly realised he was crying "I never got to apologise. For saying those things and for abandoning you, and then after some time,when I learned you'd moved on, I told myself it didnt matter, that I'd done the right thing" He raised his eyes back up to Chanyeol, meeting equally wide ones "But when you called that night, I... I realised I needed to do this. I needed to face this shit I had done in the past"

Chanyeol was speechless. After not talking for so long, He and Kyungsoo actually had so much in common.

"If it makes you feel better, my new love ditched me and ran off to Japan" Chanyeol muttered "I guess we're just a pair of ex's with ex's eh?" He chuckled at his sad joke and even Kyungsoo cracked a smile. It gave Chanyeol enough courage to be more open, Kyungsoo had even after all these years plucked up the courage to come and see him "So, did you reach your dreams then?"

"Becoming a doctor?" Kyungsoo chuckled at that "I made it through the first year and then dropped out. I'm currently living away from home and have little to no contact with my family. I work as a part-time English lit tutor at the school we used to go to"

Wow. And just like that the image Chanyeol had of Kyungsoo, as this aloof, rich and snarky man dropped away. Under he saw a boy who had been terrified, his life controlled by his parents, a baby he didn't know how to cope with along with expectations to go to university to do a course and ultimately a job that his heart was not into. 

"I'm sorry" Chanyeol whispered and Kyungsoo looked taken aback by the apology;

"What for? You didn't do anything?"

"I... I think I only now realise how much stress you were under. I was so carefree that I didn't see back then you were struggling. So I'm sorry for not being there for you"

There were few things that Chanyeol had not seen. Kyungsoo breaking down and gripping his hand at a bar table like it was his last stable connection to the ground was one of them. 

Kyungsoo muttered his thanks over and over, until his voice was hoarse. Eventually, Chanyeol moved around and wrapped an arm around him- he was never one to let someone be so distraught. Curse him and his soft heart.

They carried on talking to the early hours of the morning, sharing stories about their ex's with fondness, about each other- even re-hashing the day of their break-up. And honestly, it felt good. It felt good to get it off his chest, to speak of all the things he'd wanted to say to Kyungsoo since the birth of their child, and Kyungsoo took everything- every harsh remark to every soft joke.

"I'm glad I came" Kyungsoo said, voice soft as he leaned against Chanyeol's shoulder, the taller placing his head on to, muttering a 'me too'.

"We needed this didn't we? We were just too blinded by anger to see it" Chanyeol added "I can't say that we'll be best friends again... or that we'll yknow... ever again"

Kyungsoo snorted "In your dreams, Park. I still have my eyes set on Jongin- I just wanted to be a better friend and a better father first. He deserves that much."

Chanyeol quietened momentarily, the words on the tip of his tongue. He could regret this. Or equally it could be the best decision he had ever made in his life. "I... I know this has been the first time we have spoken to each other. And honestly, I think.... I think I can forgive you with a bit more time Soo... you and Jongin. You deserve to be happy and I dont want to hold this over you for the rest of your life...." He trailed off "You've changed already, for the better. The fact you're willing to speak to me, to talk about everything we've been through, says so much about how far you come. And I really do want you to be happy- both of you"

Kyungsoo knew this was as close to a blessing Chanyeol would ever give his and Jongin's possible rekindling of a relationship and the shorter would take it with both hands. "I really needed this. To speak to you, and if you love Baekhyun as much as you tell me you do, you should find him in Japan when you're there- what's there to lose Yeol. If you dont try, you could lose the person most important to you. We all deserve a second chance, or at least the chance of a chance."

They stand outside the bar together, arms linked as they support each other's drunken walk back to Chanyeol's. The taller pauses, feeling his gut churn "You're right. You always were. We do deserve a second chance"

"Yeol..." Kyungsoo withdrew his arm warily and Chanyeol rolled his eyes even though it made his head spin obnoxiously;

"Not us. I meant... Us... or more importantly, you and Jaesung. If you wanted?" He held his breath as Kyungsoo's eyes widened even more;

"You... you'd let me see him?" He stuttered, voice caught in his throat "But... But I abandoned him... I..." Kyungsoo trailed off on a whimper.

Chanyeol shook his head "We all make mistakes. And honestly, I'm struggling Soo. My family hate me for dumping him with them, as they put it. I can't pay for a minder it's too expensive and Jaesung's... he could really do with knowing who his real dad is"

"I... I could look after him, some of the time?" Kyungsoo offered tentatively and Chanyeol almost beamed. Maybe it was the alcohol that was making him giddy or the possibility of a new start with someone he thought he would hate forever. Suspiciously, Chanyeol didn't feel attracted to him. When he thought of love, he thought of Baekhyun, he thought of those beautiful hands and that shapely waist, those plush lips and those droopy puppy eyes.

Chanyeol hadn't been lying when he said he'd missed Kyungsoo. He had. But not in the same way as Baekhyun. When he thought of Kyungsoo, he felt an old connection. A friend he had missed, a confidante. He and Kyungsoo had always been close prior to their relationship. And here they were chatting as old friends would. Trusting.

"I need to know I can trust you again, trust you with my baby" Chanyeol turned serious "I... we havent seen each other in so long... I don't want to give him up just like that"

"I know, I'll work for it. For him" Kyungsoo looked at the ground, swaying a little "Oh... I could... um, cook for you guys? Maybe... stay with you two- like a nanny on the days I'm off work?"

Chanyeol gawked openly. Had Kyungsoo just uttered the words 'cook' and 'nanny' and 'stay' in the same sentence. He sputtered "Uh... I mean... wouldn't that be...?" Weird. His ex and him living platonically under the same roof- it was bound to cause stirrings in the gossiping community. But Chanyeol was also at his wits end, it would be nice to come home to a cooked meal and his son under his roof, rather than rushing between his mum's and his office every day.

"I... we can try it out maybe for the next two weeks? See how it goes?" Chanyeol added, "And if it works well, maybe- maybe Jaesung can stay with you some nights?"

Kyungsoo eyes widened once more in happiness and he quickly wiped away at his tears. "Yes, I would...I would really love that"

They reached Chanyeol's front door and Kyungsoo smiled awkwardly "Well, thanks for talking to me... and for the drinks. I'm glad I don't have work tomorrow"

Chanyeol shook his head and groaned, as he did have work the next day. Maybe he could call in sick and Jongdae could take the fall for the lyrics. 

"Yeah, some us arent so lucky."

"Well.. I'll see you tomorrow to... cook?" The shorter sounded so small, as if waiting for Chanyeol to burst his bubble but instead Chanyeol smiled kindly;

"Yeah, maybe you could get here for 7:30 and bring stuff for the week? I have a spare room we can set up for the time being?"

Kyungsoo nodded eagerly and bid farewell, not hiding his beaming heart shaped smile.

Chanyeol found himself grinning too, his heart unsurprisingly lighter than it had been in years.

___________________________________________________

The next two weeks had been the easiest Chanyeol had ever had- he was so busy at work he didn't even think about Baekhyun. He thought of nothing but work. And when he was at home, Kyungsoo had already cooked something delicious, they would sit on the couch (separate from each other) with Jaesung perched inbetween, giggling and wriggling. They would both coo at him.

It seemed, despite all his hatred years ago, Kyungsoo was a natural parent. He loved with all his heart, he'd play with Jaesung, wake up when the little boy cried, clean the sheets, whip out breakfast. Kyungsoo in Chanyeol's eyes was a god-send at the right time.

"Thankyou for this" Chanyeol eventually said one evening, unexpectedly pulling the shorter into a hug, forehead leaning against the crown of his head "This means so much to me. I never thought I'd get to see Jaesung like this with you."

"Me neither" Kyungsoo breathed in deeply, "I can't believe how much I've missed out on"

"It's not your fault" Chanyeol whispered finally "What you did and said. It's not your fault. I understand it better than anyone now, how the stress can kill you- Jaesung was the only thing to keep me going"

They stood like that, held together for a while, and there was no emotion but forgiveness, and thankfulness at the opportunity to be like this again. Peaceful and happy with each other, even if it was in a way neither of them had thought of back in school.

"I'm sorry." It rang clear in the air, and it was the most heartfelt one Chanyeol had heart. For everything. For hurting you, for pushing you and our child away, for crushing your heart and crushing my own when I realised you were happy. 

Eventually Chanyeol pressed a kiss against the Kyungsoo forehead "We're good. I can.. You've proved yourself to not be the same. I... I can start trusting you again. And maybe... maybe I'm being hopeful here, but we can be friends again" _I forgive you._

Kyungsoo's eyes crinkled as he smiled so widely "Well, you'll- both of you- will be seeing a lot more of me." His tone was still hopeful and Chanyeol smiled with a nod. They would.

Chanyeol lay in his bed, Kyungsoo had left with Jaesung for the few days that Chanyeol was in Japan. He sent regular updates, showed Chanyeol what food he was having and even the cute outfits that Jaesung had on for school. It was adorable.

And Kyungsoo truly loved the little tot. More than Chanyeol could have ever imagined and it made his heart swell. He was supposed to feel bitter that Kyungsoo had just waltzed back into his life after everything, and just taken up residence, taken good care of his kid and his home.

But he didnt. He felt free, it felt good not to be angry. It felt good to build up bridges.It felt good to know Kyungsoo again and understand what had happened from a new perspective. Who knew it would have taken one drunken voicemail to begin to mend the bridges of his broken past? 

He didn't. What he did know is that life was full of surprises and some of them came in the form of rekindled spirits.

Closing his eyes, Chanyeol dreamed of rekindling with the one person he dreamed of every night. Heart clenching at the thought of losing him, and just before he drifted of, Chanyeol resolutely promised the hundreds of stars in the sky that in Japan, he would try to fix what he had lost with Baekhyun.

If he wasn't too late.

**Author's Note:**

> Cross posted from my LJ (no longer in use) and more recently my AFF.  
> It was initially meant to be a three part fic, but it might be around 10 :)


End file.
